Everything They Don't Tell You About Menopause and Why You Should Embrace the Changes
When I say the word menopause the silly side of me instantly thinks of the 1984 song by Klymaxx "The Men All Pause" (when I walk into the room) while I love the song because it's upbeat and makes me feel beautiful, menopause on the other hand not so much!
At this point I'll offer full disclosure that I am not a medical expert or advisor on this but as a woman I have an opinion on the subject so here goes.
Everyone's body is different but will have similar experiences. My gynecologist explained it this way to me, it's a bell curve and you can start anywhere from mid to late thirties or like you (as he loved to say) as late as your late 50's...insert laughter here, it was only funny to him because then he'd add so be careful because you can still get pregnant, that part was totally only funny to him. So apparently, I'm at the other end of the spectrum experiencing menopause at such a late age.
What is menopause?
It's when changes take place in your body and your estrogen and progesterone levels decline, it's usually described as a time when a woman stops having menstrual periods, now while I give a Hallelujah to that it's the other symptoms I'm not here for.
“As in nature, the appreciation for all things is transitional. The leaves fall in the winter. To give birth to a beautiful spring,” states Dr. Olivia Audrey. “Even in what seems like an ending, there is always awaiting a new beginning, our bodies are no different in this way, what seems like and ending opens us up in a million different ways in the next season”
There are several signs that signal that you are approaching or going through menopause:
1. Hot Flashes, usually occurs in more than two-thirds of women and you feel like your body is just on fire and absolutely nothing can get you cooled off. Usually occurring suddenly without warning. Stress can also bring these flashes on. And can last anywhere from 1 to 5 minutes, they can be mild or severe. You can have several hot flashes an hour, maybe once a week or some women never get hot flashes.
2. Night Sweats are hot flashes that happen during your sleep and can be so bad that they wake you up, usually you'll be covered in sweat.
3. Sleeping pattern changes - Sleep patterns can be changed because of the hot flashes and night sweats, these will definitely wake you up, additional stress because of what your body is going through can cause your sleep to be interrupted.
4. Lack of sexual desire - Some women become less interested in sex or have trouble getting aroused. While other women seem to enjoy it more, perhaps because there isn't a fear of getting pregnant.
5. Vaginal dryness (pain during sex) - if you experience this it's time to invest in some good gels, lubricants. When it comes to good lubricants, you don’t have to go far at all!
“Think safe oils when substituting for lube, things you could safely ingest. Coconut oil is the best because it also helps keep your vagina healthy due to its antibacterial properties but a neutral oil with no smell like avocado oil could work,” states Celebrity Relationship Coach Nicole Moore. “Try using either one of these to alleviate menopausal dryness. Ingesting will aid in long-term assistance as well, versus a quick fix with using non-natural lubricants.”
Afterall, there’s no need to suffer during such an intimate time.
6. Mood swings (this probably should have been at the top of the list) - during menopause your hormonal levels are up and down, your emotions are all over the place, while this is a normal process, if you feel that it has gotten out of control then it's time to see your doctor. There are a number of medications that can be used to make you feel more like yourself. No stigmas attached here, if you need extra help then get it.
7. Headaches - if you suffer from migraines then headaches can increase during menopause. Experts on this matter believe that this is due to decreasing estrogen levels.
8. Hair Loss - What do I say about this...what a cruel thing to happen but again it can be some women's fate during menopause. Fortunately, there are a number of products on the market that can help grow back your hair, you can also see a dermatologist regarding this as well. But nowadays women have so many options, hair regrow products, hats, scarves and a wide variety of wigs. I am not defined by my hair!
9. Urinary Incontinence - This is a common issue during menopause, while it may be common it can be quite embarrassing, but it can be cured, treated or at best made more manageable. There are also a lot of products on the market that can you help you make it through your day more comfortably such as adult diapers. (No shade no shame, I'm gonna use them when/if the time comes-proudly).
10. Adult acne - due to the changes in your hormone levels acne is another unwelcoming effect of menopause. But there are many over the counter things that can be used to treat this. If it gets out of hand you can always see a dermatologist.
Ok so there we have it, with so many negative side effects of menopause how on earth can a person feel happy, feel ok, feel normal?
“As with any change, when we release and let go of the old and what is no longer needed, we gain access to more levels of creation and expansion that surpass what has been known before,” Life Coach Emily Rivera explains. “Menopause is a phase into wisdom for all women.”
You have to look at things this way, we probably won't be able to stop, alter or change any of the above from happening to us but what we can do is work on the things we can change and accept those that we cannot.
“This is a time of renewal. Use this as an opportunity to connect to the woman you are now, not the child you once were,” states Celebrity Wholeness Coach, Melissa Kathryn. “This is a beautiful time for self-exploration and taking your mind, body and spirit to new levels, embracing this newfound grounded confidence in the life you’ve led, and the women you’ve become, now being beckoned to go to new heights.”
I choose to be happy at this time of my life (not OMG I'm totally insane happy) but rather happy in that I get to experience this part of being a woman. Unfortunately, in our time many women do not.
1. Find joy in being alive.
2. Take up a hobby, something you've always wanted to do but were too busy to do before.
3. Relax, Relate, Release - have more ME time days where you just focus on what you need at that time, that day.
4. Love more, not just others, but truly love yourself.
5. Do things that make you truly happy, laugh out loud happy, make you smile from ear to ear happy.
6. Bring that sexy side of you out, we ALL have a sexy girl in us. Flirt more, smile more, dress in things that make you feel sexy and stop worrying about what everyone else is saying (chances are that anyone looking on wishes they had the freedom to do the same). Express YOURSELF, whoever that is.
7. Give relationships a chance, you're older not dead. Even if they don't work out stop instantly thinking what did I do wrong, plain and simple it just wasn't meant to work but never let this stop you from feeling, from loving.
8. Get a pet, you'd be surprised at how much love and happiness a pet can bring into your life.
9. And for heavens sake...have sex if that's what you want to do. You may have to be more creative (use the products available to make this enjoyable for you) but there is nothing that says because we are getting older that sex is a done deal. I refuse to accept that.
“You are no longer governed by your monthly menstrual cycle, which means you are free to choose your mood, connect even deeper to your body and feel on a level you have not been able to for decades, of what is real versus what you feel is real,” Kathryn explains. “I encourage you to ask yourself, who am I now? What lights me up? What makes me feel sexy and alive? How do I want to dress now? How do I like to be loved, touched and most of all, what do I want to create now, express and share with the world?” Your hormones are no longer running the show, you are and only YOU can truly explore that!
